Extra kilos, sex, stress … Are your good resolutions tenable?

A very large proportion (85%) of French people admit to being unable to keep the good resolutions taken at the start of the year. Why ? Are these wishes unachievable? We dissect three.

Each year that begins is accompanied, each time, by this obligatory step: we say to ourselves that it would be good to be less stressed and tired, to lose weight, to lower your alcohol consumption ( with the “Dry january ” ) or cigarettes, to find love, to take care of your relationship, to do more family activities, to be happier at work …

Thus, most French people sacrifice to the tradition of “good resolutions”. But a very important part (85%) admits to being unable to keep them! (1) . Why ? Are these wishes unachievable? We dissect three.

1 / Be less stressed and tired

With the ordeal that was 2020, it is quite legitimate to need to relax in 2021 … “Being less stressed” or “happier” comes up regularly in the wishes. How to do ? Identifying the source of the discomfort and working on it, taking up yoga or adopting a cat or a dog are all solutions that work in the long term. Yes, you read that correctly: during confinement, the pets acted like anxiolytics on their owner, according to British researchers …

As for fatigue, it is often the consequence of poor quality sleep. Getting a good night’s sleep starts with getting to bed on time and getting enough sleep. “The best sleep, the most recuperative in terms of physical and mental fatigue, is the one between 10 pm and 2 am” recalls Doctor Laurence Plumey, nutritionist .

How to put all the chances on his side? “Basically, know that the three enemies of sleep are the fact of thinking too much, that of forcing oneself to sleep – counterproductive – and the discomfort of the body, linked to the intake of caffeine, alcohol …”  emphasizes psychotherapist Benjamin Lubszynski. He recommends getting away from screens before going to bed and getting ready to go to bed. “If necessary, do not hesitate to do some relaxation exercises or even hypnosis”.

2 / Lose weight and eat healthy

After the excesses of the holidays, we say to ourselves that we are going to put on a diet to give ourselves a clear conscience … But is there a diet that has already proven its worth in the long term? “Diets that are too violent, too restrictive, too fast, will lead to weight gain ,” warns Cyril Gauthier, a nutritionist , who warns against the yo-yo effect.

He specifies that it is possible to lose extra pounds … provided you take your time. “What matters is the number of calories that enter and that which leaves” of the body, hence the importance of keeping a balanced plate (lean meat, starches and vegetables), drink water, do not snack between meals and practice regular physical activity.

As for the “miracle” methods and detoxes, they will only work on certain people “who are not predisposed to weight gain and who only have two pounds to lose, who have no serious food problem” in which case, the best is to approach a professional.

3 / Take care of your couple

Stop criticizing others, listen to them more, make love more often … Good resolutions can also be taken as a couple. “It is the occasion of a moment of sharing, of complicity, of reunion” agrees Caroline Kruse, marriage therapist. “It is also a good way to take a fresh look at the person you live with, to take advantage of what we have learned and understood together about the other”.

If you don’t manage to go to the end, don’t panic: “These challenges are a bit like believing in Santa Claus. They are almost made not to be held. So no need to be too demanding of yourself and the other. The worst part about a relationship is expecting to be disappointed from the start. So, no pressure. “

Managing children and household chores, money or sexuality can generate major sources of tension. Communication, “which is often lacking in the couple”, will be essential, just like tenderness, gestures,  notes Frédéric Vincent, psychoanalyst and sociologist. On the other hand, beware of the abusive use of smartphones and social networks, which are “a nest of neuroses”. Consult with moderation, especially as there is a risk of dependence, as with drugs, tobacco or alcohol.

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